If you have a kid, you've been there: Strolling the freezer section for frozen pizza and Popsicles when your typically adorable toddler drops their sippy cup and the whole world comes crashing down.

I like the mailbag. You give me the topic and I pontificate for 1,000 words. Today we have another disguised and distorted letter from an unidentifiable and possibly fictional reader: I would love to ...